Saya sebenarnya bukan lah seorang peng'update blog yang tegar. Hanya ketika kepala ini merasakan tiada tempat (selain Allah) untuk mengadu, maka diari maya inilah tempat luahan perasaan~
Berbalik kepada tajuk asal; My breastfeeding journey is now over~ Ouh really? Is it really over?
Sehari dua ni dunia digemparkan dengan berita kehilangan MH370, pesawat Malaysia Airlines yang menuju ke Beijing. Dan dengan itu juga, seluruh umat manusia diselubungi kesedihan.
Bagi penyokong DSAI serta keluarga, mereka lebih bersedih kerana sehari sebelum kejadian MH370 hilang, mereka sekali lagi bakal kehilangan orang yg mereka sayangi, kerana DSAI telah dijatuhi hukuman penjara selama 5 tahun oleh mahkamah rayuan atas tuduhan meliwat. Sesungguhnya Allah yang maha mengetahui segalanya yang berlaku.
For me, I also feel very sad as I had to let go one of my daily routine that I did for 2 years with full of love and sincerity. March 7, 2014; as Nisriin turned 2 years old, I had plan to wean her off. For most people out there, maybe you can't understand the feeling. I had breastfed her, day and night, facing a lot of joy yet difficulties as well.. All the laughter and tears follow each other. But now, everything is over~
After this process is successfully over, there will be no longer the word "belop" in our life. For her, she had been using the word "belop" (since she knows how to talk which i can't memorize when) to express her feeling that she wants to breastfeed. Whenever she says that, she really wants it now, without compromise.
March 8, 2014; di kala dunia sedang berdebar menanti berita MH370, aku juga sebenarnya sangat berdebar membuat keputusan ni. After having lunch that day, I make a decision, I went to grocery shop, bought 1 small bottle of rose syrup, and 1 small bitter gourd. Memang kebetulan ade 1biji tu je, and condition pun xberapa nk segar. All cost RM2.
I went back home, put few drops of red color on my b****t, and showed her that "it" was bleeding. That whole day, she kept saying that "belop darah". Bed time, I just put her in her cradle while watching upin-ipin on my phone, she fell asleep. She woke up at 4am, sleep beside me on the bed, she request for belop but suddenly just fell asleep again.
The next day, March 9, 2014, Sunday. We have nothing much to do, since the weather not so good, we just stay at home and continue to finish up customers' orders while watching news about MH370.
I started to put some bitter gourd on my b****t and ask her few times whether she wants belop or not, and sangat tersentuh hati when she says don't want, but looks like she still want it. She kept kissing it, but don't dare to put in her mouth. "Caayaang belop", she said.
That night, bed time, I can feel that she really can't tahan anymore. She kept saying "caayaang belop and can't stop kissing it. Suddenly she's crying without no reason. Finally, I have no choice but to gave her just to "lepaskan gian" for a while, and ask her to let it go and put her in the cradle, again with upin ipin on the phone. I know it is not a good idea to always give gadgets, but for this moment, I have to, hanya untuk membuatkan dia lupa seketika kepada teman rapatnya yg telah bersama selama 2 tahun ini.
I am sorry my dear Nisriin, what I did doesn't mean that I didn't love you anymore. I know that you are big girl now, and your immune system can survive on their own without me supporting them.
I will always hug you near my heart dear~
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